Every wondered if you will turn out just like mom and dad?

So that could be the million dollar question.  What if we had or have parents that were uncaring or critical or horrible worriers or overbearing and controlling or worse drug addicted or alcoholics or just plain didn’t care?  Or maybe it’s the disease factor…which gives us fear of getting some disease or ailment?

How likely is it that we will follow suit?  Often there are articles alluding to genetics, our DNA and the likelihood of following our parent’s patterns.

So the make-up of our emotional wellness and well-being, the likelihood of getting dis-ease or something similar is interesting.  

The outcome of events in childhood, under the age of approximately 9 thru 10…i.e. the child’s perception of what is REALLY going on….. are a mixture of truth, fact, fantasy and fiction all mixed in together.  Then you add the three pre-cursors – events, DNA and environment – these are a fact.  The child’s perception of what is really going on does not necessarily mean it’s true…more about that if you come for a session with A Tranquil Mind Clinical Hypnotherapy e.g. it’s complicated!

So when you are born you are just like pristine little computer –  not programmed and with virtually no software – maybe a few programs like recognizing mom and dad’s (and possibly others) voices and sounds from when being in the womb….or understanding the need to suck etc.

When you are in the here and now (born) mom and dad or parent substitutes or brothers, sisters and other influencers are talking….showing….doing…and we as little absorbent sponges are picking it all up….honestly it’s a case of monkey see, monkey do quite often – not that we are referring to you as a monkey!  

You probably get the picture!  And, of course, emotions come into the mix.  If the child “perceives” something is abhorrent, wrong or just plain scary or horrible they may show distaste and shun it!  Or not – just depending……….

So it’s true to say, you might take it on or you might not take it on.  Hence you might be a smoker if mom and dad were (are) or you might not….add in the DNA, events and environment and that may set the standard.  i.e. peer pressure, continual breathing in of smoke – whether or not you like the smell etc. Again it’s complicated!

But in many cases…. and from research with clients, if both mom and dad are worriers and their expectation most of the time is expecting the worst possible outcome, you may very well turn out to be a worrier too!   OR NOT!!!

Worrying isn’t good – it puts a person in a negative state of expecting the worst – it can turn from minor worrying to major anxiety, panic attacks, change your life very much for the worse – hold you back in life and much more ….to making you ill and can be the root cause of some disease! 

Recognizing the potential, possibility, facts of your emotional behavior and the patterning of good old mom and dad is important and CAN BE changed!  So why cannot you change it?  If you’ve read some of the prior blogs you understand that talking to yourself in your conscious mind or having someone else (counselor?) talk to you conscious mind (the part you are aware of) often does not do much good at all!!!  

This is because (and for a very good reason….way back when we were stone age peeps) the gatekeeper to our subconscious (the seat of your higher problem solving mind) was an important part of “keeping you safe”.  Now it is pretty much a hindrance in the 21^st century.  Again more about that if you come contact us – again….it’s complicated!

The trick here to fix things is to have your conscious mind (the part you are aware of) talk to your subconscious problem solving part of your mind (the part you cannot reach and you are not really aware of)!  In other words, that old chestnut….COMMUNICATION on a real level where both parts of the mind communicate.  Yep, easier said that done. 

But with hypnosis it’s possible!